The story of chinese wars in short, aru
by Yamu-chan
Summary: Mulan AU! Yao Wang didn't want to go to war, yet he did under the name of his brother, Kiku. But when he falls for his Russian general, gets an talking dragon sent by his ancestors, his british cousins interfere in the form of a horse and a cricket, he just tries to suvive the camp rather than the war itself. Yaoi, yuri.
1. Chapter 1

**Yamu : BUM BADA BUMM BAM BAM!**

 **Yogi : And no one knows why she said that.**

 **Yamu : New story!**

 **Yogi : Wait a second... Mulan? You serious?**

 **Yamu : You know I love the disney movies. Mulan and so on were my whole childhood.**

 **Yogi : Childhoo- WHAT ARE YOU? 24?**

 **Yamu : I'M 13 AND YOU KNOW IT!**

 **Yogi : THE QUESTION WAS- Oh, forget it. So, wacha gonna do?**

 **Elias : You're starting to sound like Alfred...**

 **Alfred : Hey guys!**

 **Elias : WHY DOES EVERYONE BREAK THE 4th WALL?**

 **Alfred : I HAVE NO CLUE BUT IT'S FUN!**

 **Yamu : That's it, I want cookies.**

 **Elias : WE HAVE A BIGGER PROBLEM THEN YOU RUNNING OUT OF COOKIES.**

 **Yamu : *makes cookies appear out of nowhere*So, who does the whole thingy?  
**

 **Alfred : I WILL!**

 **Yamu : I'm not even gonna question about how you know what that is. Start.**

 **Alfred : So, Yamu does not own Hetalia or any of the characters. Or Mulan, for dragon's sake(Yogi : Dam right she does not). She's sorry for any grammar mistakes, hopes you like the story and FREAKIN' REVIEW THIS!**

 **Yamu : *eats cookies* COOKIES RULE THE WORLD!**

 **Yogi : No, I think Lady Gaga does.**

* * *

 **Yao POV/ YAO'S POINT OF VIEW**

Okay, Befor my FREAKING TALKING DRAGON opens his mouth again, I will have to explain some things.

Who I am? Oh, I'm Yao Wang. Or Wang Yao, if you want it the traditional way.

Why am I on the back of a talking horse and riding towards a camp for warriors?

Well, that's a long story.

The morning started fairly normal... my little sister set the old hag from the match-maker organization on fire(ON FUCKING FIRE!) again. My little brother Kiku nearly killed a chicken with his katana(Seriously, the guy has to do something about his obsessions with swords. I still have the scar on my back!). Im Yong Soo Wang, another blittle brother of mine, again claimed my non-excitent breasts as his, tough I'm sure he tried to molest me when I was sleeping, Thanit had that unresistable smile as usual, and Lien just didn't care.

My Father? Oh, he can't walk normally anymore, otherwise the war would have sucked him in again. Mother? Bitch left us after Mei's birth. Turned out she cheated on Dad quiet often. My Grandmother? Oh, she's at home and had the unthinkable (dumb) idea of catching a cricket and using it as a luck charm.

Of course, I rescued the poor being as soon as Mei came home and told me how good the old hag's burning face looked. Oh, how I wanted to be there when that happend.

So...

"I still can't believe you set her on fire!" I said, helping her with the horses.

"Her fat make up ran down her face, You must've seen her!" She giggled.

"Oh I wish I did!"

"So you're not mad?" She asked.

"Hmm." I touched my chin, as if thinking. "Amused? HELL YES! But Angered...I don't think so, in fact I wanted to be there to see that."

Yeah, the old hag annoyed the hell out of our family. If only Our Father knew what we were doing. Most of the times he just laughs with us, though.

"Where did Grandma even get the cricket from? I mean, we're in the middle of the city..." I asked.

She shrugged, frowned even. "She said something about our English cousins sending a package here and the poor little guy somehow bein in there.

Oh yeah, our cousins. Allistor, Ian, Liam, Dylan, Arthur and Peter Kirkland.

Might I add they are magicians? Really strong ones?

I don't think the cricket just accidently jumped into the package. Good that he's somewhere in our huge yard now.

When we finished taking care of the horses, and the new one that popped out from nowhere, we left the stable and went back into the house...

Only for me to get tackled by Yong Soo.

"ANIKI~~~~~" He jumped on top of me. Now, didn't that scene look a little sexual with a crazy little brother sitting on top of me?

"OW! Yong Soo!" I cried out. "You know that hurts!"

"Aniki's breasts are mine, da-ze~" He grabbed my non-exsistent breasts, taking my clothed nipples in the process... what did I just say about being sexual?

"Yon-" I tried to croak, or stutter, out.

"OI! YONG SOO, stop molesting Yao and get out here, we have a problem." My older sister, Lien, called from the doorway.

I walked outside, Mei and Yong Soo following me.

We made our way to the huge gates, which each chinese family house here had, just to be seperated, while shops were just open houses.

Immidiently when I heard the chaos of voices, and that one leader-voice standing out, I knew what was going on.

War.

Again.

Just as the mean on his high horse handed over a scroll to the man of the neighboor family, he turned to our house, and read a name from his own scroll. A name that made my heart stop.

"Wang Kiku!"

I turned around, facing a terrified Kiku. He clutched his Katana to his chest like it was his life.

You see, Kiku likes Katanas. Why? Our mom teached him how to fight with the japanese weapon before she left for japan. My brother also likes her last name, Honda, more than Wang. He trained with the sword, maybe accidently killed some chickens in the yard, but nothing much,... except for the time he tried to kill me.

See, we had a fight between siblings once... all of us. Yong Soo said something offending about mom, and Kiku snapped, took the katana out of it's case(not the training wooden one), and tried to cut into Yong Soo's chest.

I jumped in front of him, my back turned to Kiku and... he slashed open my whole back. Only then did he see what he had done, and he was shocked, terrefied to have done that to his older twin. He locked himself up in his room, didn't eat, lost nearly all emotion from his eyes, and I was left concerned in the hospital, and when I was let back home for home resting, he didn't even have the courage to look at me.

When I got better, and could move around again, I finally got him to get social again, to eat, to show a little emotion.

It had done damage to the both of us. He still couldn't bring himself to hurt a human with swords of any sort, and I had a HUGE scar on my back. Who would ever date me now, huh? And the fact that both of us were gay didn't make it any easier.

So when I saw his face, I did the unthinkable.

"I will go!" I screamed, my siblings looking at me terrefied, Mei crying silently. "I will go instead of my brother."

The man on the horse looked at me sarply. "No can do."

"B-"

"I can only let someone else from the family take the person's place when the person is hurt or unable to fight, and you look like a woman anyway."

"BUT-"

"No, dicussion end." He handed over the scroll and proceded to go to the other familys, disappearing somewhere down the street.

"Kiku..." I tried to say.

"No." He said, shivering and crying. He took the scroll from me. "I'm gonna go, I won't let you die for someone like me." _When I already hurt you deadly_ he wanted to add, but stopped and went back through the gates into our sfe yard.

So what did I do? Guess.

When they were asleep, I took my father's uniform, took the scroll from Kiku's nightstand table and rand away on a horse, the new horse.

And I was never to be seen again. I left a little panda I made on the nightstand tough, in place of the scroll.

And that's about the time I met Alfred, the FUCKING TALKING DRAGON, found out the cricket followed me, who turns out to be my cousin Arthur whom Allistor turned into a cricket after a fight and my horse talked (WHY DOES EVERYTHING THAT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK DO JUST THAT?!), then said it was Peter who followed his 'British bastsard of a brother' her when he saw how Arthur jumped into that package.

And my life might just end right there.

* * *

 **Yamu : Sooooo, did you like it? Hate it? GIVE ME A GODDAMN REVIEW! I never get any.**

 **Yogi : Drama Queen.**

 **Yamu : Well, see you next time.**

 **BYE**

 **Yao - China**

 **Mei - Taiwan**

 **Yong Soo - South Korea**

 **Thanit - Thailand**

 **Lien - Vietnam**

 **Arthur - England**

 **Ian - North Ireland**

 **Liam - Ireland**

 **Dylan - Wales**

 **Peter - Sealand**

 **Allistor - Scotland**

 **Hong Kong, Kuro and the 2ps will probably come later**


	2. Chapter 2

**Yamu : Hey guys, I'm back! ...Sorry that it took so long, I was occupied with my other story 'Bleeding Hearts', which is also a Hetalia story... in Mafia AU. It has 7 chapters by now.**

 **Yogi : No one cares, just start the story.**

 **Yamu : I just watched a few minutes of Mulan, from the point where she ran away, to know what I need to make Yao go through. And then it hit me- There are scenes in which Mulan is trying to act like a guy-but that doesn't go well because she gets advice from Mushu!-, and I thought how am I supposed to make that? Well, like you saw I will not make everything like the original Mulan story here(like, the role of Mulan is occupied by a slightly female looking guy named Yao), but still, I think I will make those emberassing scenes by making Yao try to act like Kiku. Yao doesn't know what Kiku likes or does much, 'cause... well... you know, the guy is a mistery, even to his twin brother!**

 **Also, Yao will be found out to not be Kiku later on, which of course would recieve him a death punishment for lying to his general and soldiers, but I didn't decide how yet...**

 **Also, Macao and North Korea are, of course, Yao's brothers too.**

 **And no, Yao isn't dying. NOT IN MY STORY! NUH-UH!**

* * *

 **Yao's POV/ YAO'S POINT OF VIEW  
**

"H-Hello, aru, I'm Kiku Honda- err, Wang- wait! WHAT NAME IS WRITTEN ON THE SCROLL!"

I was in distres, I admit. I didn't know how Kiku acts- and I can't fake to be nearly emotionless, or fake his eyes(talk abaout twins)- and I didn't know how Kiku's behaviour would change when being under those people I now had to call 'comrades'.

I tried to open the scroll fastly, but it slipped out of my hand and nearly fell onto the ground, I caught it with two hands... but fell down myself in the process.

I swear that horse laughed without stop. IT WAS MOCKING ME!

And I did the most sane thing ever.

I thrw one of my shoes at the horse's head.

Yes, any normal chinese guy would do that in my situation. Unfortuanly, there were no other guys in China that hid inside of the army as his twin brother... or none lived to tell about it.

"Look, I need to be more like Kiku, so would you please stop laughing and try to ACTUALLY HELP ME?!" I knew, it was strange talking to a horse. Then again, it was strange that a horse would laugh at human behavior...

"Yao, chill out! You will never be able to act like Kiku does." Did the horse just talk? "Also, no one here should know Kiku, so no one would know how he acts."

OH MY FUCKING GOD THE HORSE JUST TALKING!

"HOLY PANDA!" I screamed and took a few steps back. "HOW THE HECK ARE YOU ABLE TO TALK!"

The horse seemed to frown.

FUCKING FROWN!

"I'm pretty sure it's called 'Holy Fuck' or something like that..."

"Question! Answer! NOW!"

"But-"

"NOW OR I'M GONNA SAY HOLY CHICKEN FROM NOW ON EVERYTIME YOU SPEAK, ARU!"

"Will you buy it when I say you are insane?"

"I would, but none imaginary being would tell me I'm insane, he would rather keep it so he could exist and I won't go see a doctor."

"DAMN IT!"

"ANSWER!"

"Why should I?" he asked mockingly.

"I have a sword, aru." I stated. "And if you refuse, I will use it to give you some 'boo-boos'." I pointed at the huge sword hanging down from my waist, and even tough it was still in it's sword case, the horse seemed to fear it.

Maybe I really should go see a doctor. Again: I'M TALKING TO A HORSE!

But my family line had a lot of magicians, so I think the guy was cursed. I can actually use spells too, but I don't do it odten. And if, then the spells are in the tea.

Didn't I mention that my british cousins where magicians?

"Yao, It's me, Peter! SEA-AHOY!" The horse said.

Maybe I would have thrown my shoe again, but I don't think there were many horses knowing the name of my youngest cousin. Or any that know that the boy always screams 'SEA-AHOY' from the day we went to Sealand once.

"PETER!" I screamed after a few seconds of thinking. "What are you doing here?! And why are you a freakin' horse, aru!"

"Hey, I always wanted to be a horse!" Peter exclaimed, huffing. Trust me, it looks strange when a horse huffs.

"Peter..." I growled.

"Aaaaand, maybe my spell went wrong but hey! I'm happy 'cause Allie never let me learn any horse-spells!" He said.

"And for a good reason!" I pointed a finger at him. "Now, what are you doing here, aru!"

"Where?"

"CHINA, aru!"

"Oh!" he pretended to relize only now that he was China. "Remember that package you guys recieved from Allie?"

"Of course, aru."

"I'm pretty sure there was a ckricket in there." he said.

And then it came to me. "WAIT! Allistor. A package. A ckricket in a package from Allistor and your other brothers..." I recalled everything slowly, more like saying to myself. "WHAT THE PANDA DID YOU DO, ARU!?"

"Ummm... I say it was all Allistor!" He said, fastly. Oh I could feel the fire building around me, I'm a magicican after all.

"Peter, who. Was. That. Ckricket! WHAT DID YOU DO, ARU!"

"OH GOD PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" He screamed/whined when I set one of the many trees around us on fire(the bambo trees from Mulan, where she met Mushu and everything). It collapsed a little later, but the fire stopped on my inner comand. Still, my fists were on fire and my brownish-golden eyes glaring at Peter, and then he spilled out the truth, screaming the whole time like Mei when she was younger... okay, NO, she still screams like that.

"ALLISTOR AND ARTHUR HAD A FIGHT, AND IN THE END ALLIE TURNED THE BRITISH JERK INTO A CRICKET, TRAPPING HIM INSIDE A GLASS CONTAINER AS SMALL AS A CUP! WHEN NO ONE WAS AROUND I MESSED WITH HIM, TEASED HIM A LITTLE BIT, THEN ACCIDENTLY HE FREED HIMSELF!" Peter continued to cry crocodile tears. "HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HE STILL HAD HIS MAGICAL POWERS!? AFTER HE FREED HIMSELF, HE HOPPED INTO THAT PACKAGE TO HIDE, WHEN IT WAS SEALED CLOSE BY MY BROTHERS! I DIDN'T TELL THEM 'CAUSE I WOULD GET INTO TROUBLE FOR THAT! THEN, WHEN THE PACKAGE WAS SEND TO YOU GUYS IN CHINA, I DECIDED TO DISGUISE MYSELF AND FOLLOW! B-But something went wrong and I turned into that super cool horse when I was finally on china grounds- yes I only tried that spell once I was here. And then I figured 'no problem, once you find Arthur he will turn you back, since he's stong even as a frakin' ckricket! Even tough he can't reverse Allie's spells and has to stay a ckricket until we convince Allie to turn hm back. Then we'll go home and can call it a day... or week'. But how should I have known you would go to the chinese war, disguised as KIKU! And that, out of all the horses in your stall, you would pick ME!" He sobbed. "NOW I'LL NEVER FIND MY BROTHER AGAIN, and I will die with you in the war."

"Firstly, WHAT THE HECK ARU! And secondly, how would you know we will LOSE THE WAR, ARU!?"

"China is weak." He sobbed.

"CHINA IS STRONGER THAN YOUR LAZY ASS, ARU!"

"WELL I CAN DO MAGIC!"

"I CAN TOO AND DON'T YOU FORGET THAT, ARU!"

"Can you reverse Allie's spell?" He asked.

"No, but I think I'm gonna turn you back into a human now. This is getting disturbing, aru."

"No, I'm good. I wanna stay a horse..."

I groaned, throwing my hands into the air. "GREAT! WE'RE DOOMED!"

"YOU DECIDED TO PLAY 'Being-Kiku' AND GO TO THE FUKING WAR!"

"DOOMED, ARU!"

"Did someone say, DOOMED!" We turned around... to meet fire and a huge shadow on a rock. "IF YES, THEN GIVE ME AN 'RAAAAAAR'!"

"AHHHHHHHH" We screamed in fear.

"Not very soldier-like, but it'll do for now- OOOOOOOWWW!" The shadow turned to look at the ground! "ARTHUR, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PINCHING ME!?"

...

 **earlier, in the night Yao ran away (It was the morning after when Mulan was at that 'forest' she met Mushu in, after all)**

 **Kiku's POV/ KIKU'S POINT OF VIEW**

I woke up screaming and sweating, and instantly wrestled out from under my blanket and into the cold air in the hall.

"YAO!" I knew that I usually don't show much emotion, but I had a dream about Yao being killed by a dragon! Eaten, even!

I slammed open the door-which was in chinese style- to be met with Yao's empty bed.

Groaning behind me ripped me out of my thoughts, and I turned around to face my other siblings. They were sleepy, but at the complete panic and shock that was writting over my face, they awoke, gasping at the emotions visible in my face.

"Kiku, what happened?" Mei asked, she called after me when I passed them without a word, running to the training hall we had, where I mostly was, practicing with the katana. I opened the closet in the corner.

It was empty.

And that made my blood freeze. The uniform of my father, when he was a soldier on the battlefield in the war, used to be in there.

Now it was gone.

As was my recognition(ID)-scroll from my bedside table, I realized. I took the little panda that lied there instead, and axamined his face coldly.

I stepped outside, into the rain. And Mei came running to me, saying that one horse was missing from the stable.

And then, I couldn't take it anymore. I collapsed and started to cry, pressing the little panda to my chest- the place where my heart is.

My brother sacrifised himself for me. For someone as worthless as me. Someone who hurt him so much, it left a scar on his whole life- literally.

And the worst thing was, I coudn't do anything anymore. It was too late to try and get him back, he would've reached camp by now, and said he was me, Kiku.

The only thing I could do was pray, and I felt useless.

I didn't even hear the sound of a statue in the back yard collapsing, but then again, none of us did at the moment.

...

 **Alfred's POV/ ALFRED'S POINT OF VIEW**

 _NONONONONONONONO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_

I desperately tried to re-attach that stupid dragon's nose to his face once again. But it didn't work. EVERYTHING WAS RUINED!

I'M DOOMED!

Of course, I made the ancestors believe the drgon awoke, and went after that stupid Yao, but I actually broke him.

Literally broke that dragon.

While he was a statue.

Hey, in my defense : THE GUY JUST DIDN'T WANT TO WAKE THE FUCK UP!

But that didn't matter now, and I heard that winp Kiku cry not too far away.

Poor guy, now he would lose his brother. And if they found out that Yao was lying while serving in the army, his honor.

Damn chinese traditions!

The poor children! But no, the ancestors, too, only cared about the family's honor, not that the kids where tortued by the thought that their brother could die.

I sat there depressed.

"Stop being such a idiot and do something!"

I turned around and saw a ckricket, only a little smaller thang my little-dragon form, not far away from me, his beautiful green eyes glaring at me.

"Those children are crying their eyes out! Someone from those family guarddogs of yours has to safe them!"

"Wait, how do you know about the guardians?!" I turned to him.

"I heard those old scumbags talking, you git!" He said. "Oh, sorry, correction : You gong-ringing git!"

I glared at him, then sighed. "Won't work. I can't go back there until Yao comes back! Heck, I destoyed the all-mighty-dragon!" I pointed at the mess around me. "I can only show my face there again when Yao gets a FEAKING GOLD MEDAL FOR THE FAMILY'S HONOR! Why did this boy think it was a good idea to go and play the Kiku game?! THE SCUMMY-PANDA-LOVER SUCKS AT THIS!"

The cricket growled. "I would recommand you to stop insulting my-"

But I was too focused on my depression to listen. "AND NOW I HAVE A BLOODY CKRICKET ONTO MY BACK TOO! OH, WHY DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE ME-"

I recieved a slap to the face, then someone grabbed it and forced me to face him.

I came face to face with the cricket, staring right into his eyes. "Get yourself together, you bloody wanker! And don't call me a ckricket, my name is Arthur!"

"Fancy name." I huffed. "Mine is Alfred."

"Well, Alfred." God I loved the way he said my name. "You have to-"

"BUT-" I stopped before I could start! "OW! YOU ASSHOLE! DON'T YOU EVER PINCH ME AGAIN!"

"THEN GET YOUSELF TOGETHER! WE HAVE A LIFE TO SAVE, AND A FAMILY! MINE, TO BE EXACT! SO DO SOMETHING RIGHT THIS INSTANT!" he growled, and surprisingly, his speech worked. No one could do that.

I grinned michiviously. "So you say I should go and search for Yao?" It was a good idea. If he got a medal, I would be a guardian again! And he would be saved. And the Wang family would have morehonor than ever before if he gets a medal!

"Wait-WHAT?! NO!"

"I'm Pretty sure you said that. Now, I have to go." I dowed mockingly. "BYE!"

"WAIT- YOU STUPID AMERICAN DRAGON, WAIT FOR ME!"

"YOU TAGGING ALONG?!" I called back over my shoulder.

"TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING TO YAO OR, GOD SAVE US, CHINA!" he growled/screaming.

"DON'T WORRY, I WILL JUST BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF BOTH!"

"DON'T MAKE ME PINCH YOU AGAIN!"

And then, we took of bickering.

* * *

 **Yamu : Second chapter, check! Next chapter we'll continue from the point where the shadow(Alfred the all-mighty dragon) scolds Arthur(lousy cricket).  
**

 **Arthur : WHY AM I THE LOUSY ONE AND HE THE ALL-MIGHTY!?**

 **Yamu : I just quoted what he told me!**

 **Arthur : *growls* ALFRED F JONES! GET OVER HERE!**

 **Arthur - ckricket - England**

 **Peter - horse - Sealand**

 **Alfred - Mushu - America**


End file.
